Money See, Money Do #2

DoD Ep. 9: Documents And Discovery

Hi and welcome to all the new subscribers! Thank you for being here. I’m assuming many of you found me thanks to Caitlin Kelly’s affordable divorce article for The New York Times. I appreciate you reading the cautionary tale that is my very terrible, extremely unaffordable divorce and making your way over to this Substack.

Extra-special thanks to the paid subscribers! You’re helping keep my metaphorical lights on.

I’m also assuming you have thoughts, feelings, interests around divorce. I am truly sorry you’re going through such a painful experience and I hope this newsletter can help you sort out the practical and personal issues of a verifiably awful time.

(FYI: New posts are free for up to 2 weeks before they go behind the paywall so if you want access to everything always, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.)

Like Caitlin wrote, a cordial divorce requires both spouses to want it. One person can single-handedly turn divorce into an expensively gory UFC match. The other one can try to stanch the hemorrhaging, but divorce is one of those things where it takes only one to tango, dragging the unwilling partner all over the bloody dance floor known as family court.

Needless to say, avoiding a contested divorce is the holy grail. Did you know that 95% of divorces settle out of court? If you’re like the other (not-me) people in the article who maintained their sanity, dignity and savings during their divorces… how I envy you. The remaining 5% of you, come on over to my side of the playground.

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Documents Your Life Depends On

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

This can’t be said enough: Divorce is about money. Periodt. Read Money See, Money Do #1 for a basic money primer as you start your divorce journey.

Today’s Money See, Money Do is about documents. That’s right, sexy’s back.

Maybe your entire life doesn’t depend on having your and your ex’s documents, but your divorce does—and so does your financial future. Separation of community property, alimony and child support require documents (read: proof) to ascertain what each spouse is entitled to.