Lawyer Up #1

DoD Ep. 4: A Good Lawyer Is Hard To Find

The Summer of Unlove struck again last week with reports that Joe Jonas retained divorce lawyers after 4 years of marriage to Sophie Turner. French actress Marion Cotillard was especially shook:

This reply wins because right?

Sorrows, sorrows, prayers to the couple and their two baby girls, but I really hope Sophie gets her own badass lawyers soon, if she hasn’t already. With the tea that Sophie wants to move back to her home of England and some shady moves by Joe and his crisis PR team, it could become an ugly, international custody battle, despite a joint Instagram announcement.¹

In the short span of a week, Joe’s spun the misogynistic “bad mom” narrative, which thankfully, spectacularly boomeranged on his non-Botoxed face. The “amicability” of their separation is questionable.

Team Queen in the North.

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Paging Olivia Pope

Your divorce attorney is one of the most crucial components of your divorce. For most of us, our divorce is the first time we ever have to contact a lawyer. We are scared, hurt and completely clueless. Which affects our judgment and can cause us to choose either a bad lawyer or just the wrong one.

I’ve done both! All of the above! Let’s count up how many different law firms I’ve retained in my divorce, custody and criminal sagas. I’ve never done this before. This will take a minute…

…

,,,

9 in France

5 in the US

2 in Costa Rica

That’s law firms. I’m not counting up all the lawyers, associates and paralegals who’ve worked on my cases over the past 5 years. It’s causing me actual anxiety and heart palpitations right now to realize I’ve retained 16 law firms, I am not divorced and the only results are I’m older, poorer and my children and I are traumatized.

DO NOT BE ME.²

That said, I love my lawyers now. Having hired and fired so many; having heard the song-and-dance of many more who wanted my case (read: money); I finally managed to find ethical, empathetic and excellent attorneys who are looking out for my and my children’s best interests.

Of course, they’re women.

Unfortunately, they are the proverbial needle in a haystack. Like I said, above, you are probably not in the best headspace to ascertain a lawyer’s competence and bedside manner. The second part may sound funny, but your lawyer often plays a therapist role. (DoD Tip: Hiring an actual therapist will be far cheaper than crying to your lawyer.) But the emotional chaos of divorce means there’s a lot of fears and tears that your attorney has to be able to sensitively handle.

So how do you find a good lawyer? This many-layered question has many answers, but let’s start with some basics.

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6 Basic Rules For Choosing A Divorce Lawyer